Hitting Bottom

Believe it or not, I am hopeful that I have now hit bottom in my weight gain.  I am not near to gaining back all that I lost but it is enough that I can remember how miserable I was.  This is what depression can do.  I took the picture of the raspberries as they looked so pretty in the bowl and they are a good contrast to my food of shame picture.  It's Monday and I'm starting fresh. Again.  Lean protein, fresh fruit and lots of veg and some exercise.  My brother, (who needs to lose some weight and won't eat a vegetable unless it is coated in batter and deep-fried) has agreed that he will eat a diet that I compose for him for one week.  This will take place in a few weeks and we will see how it goes.  

Helpless

I have been depressed.  In March, I was laid off from my job due to a restructuring... so for the first time since I was 16 years old, I am out of work.  As I am an older member of the workforce, I am in a pickle.  Depression leads to eating too much and so I am in danger of undoing all the good I did in the past few years. I am helpless against the draw of over eating. I have to get a hold of myself and get back on track.  And of course I have to find a job.  I could take this opportunity to do something I've always wanted to do which is write a romance.   Maybe I will!

Viva Las Vegas...Not!

I've just returned from a few days in Las Vegas. Completely out of control eating. I'm in California right now and doing better, mostly because I am not in the constant company of forbidden food. I'll be going home in a few days and once again hope to begin again. I have a lot of time on my hands at the moment as I am currently not working, so I should have time to concentrate on my health. Let's hope so.

Cheese

I love cheese. I wish I didn't but there you go. Right up there with chocolate is cheese on my list of things I shouldn't eat.

I don't like all cheese. If it has no flavour (I'm talking to you medium cheddar!) or has hardly any actual cheese in it (sandwich slices), I can pass it by. But sharp and strong flavoured cheese, look out. Items prepared with cheese in restaurants often disagree with me. It messes with my digestion. I think it has to do with preservatives or the lack of actual cheese in the products, so I have learned to avoid or pay the price.

Like everything else, I have to learn to enjoy cheese in moderation. It is one of the things I can't have in the house, but I find if I have a good wedge of Pecorino, and use it sparingly, it satisfies my need for a cheesy taste and doesn't send me into a frenzy of cheese and that fabulous cheese delivery system...crackers.

I'm doing ok at losing right now but on the weekends I tend to fall off the rails and gain some back. I'm at a pace of about a pound a week, which is doable. Better than gaining.

Doing Ok

I'm doing ok. I am trying something new that seems to be working. It's low calorie but not crazy low calorie like Dr. B. I have a knee injury which is keeping me from walking as much as I'd like, I'm doing ok. Although I would love to lose weight as fast as I can gain it (I'm a world champ at that!), I know slow is better. I did well yesterday, I walked by about 10 places serving muffins and cookies and did not succumb. I was not entirely good though as I did manage to cram in some licorice before dinner. I was still down from yesterday so I'll take it!

January 2, 2012

Ah yes, a new year and new resolutions. I had a fairly craptacular year. Without going into details, I had some changes and the result has been depression = eating = weight gain. I gained weight in 2011. Not so much that I erased all my hard work, but enough to make my clothes a bit snug and have me feeling awful. This blog is called Every Day a New Diet and so I'm going to try something new for the next week or so. If it works out, I'll write about it here.

Boxing Day Blues

Urgh. I have eaten everything in sight for about the past 6 weeks. It shows as a gain of 6 pounds on the scale. I am back to drinking diet coke too after kicking that habit a few months ago. I usually have just one or two but I know it's not good. I'll try to get that monkey off my back again in the new year.

I quit the diet clinic again because although I was losing weight, I was not "burning" enough for their liking so not only did they tell me no fruits, but also no breads so my few measly Melba toasts were forbidden too! That put me at below starvation calorie levels and made me cranky. So I rebelled and quit for a while.

The quitting made me lazy, hence the weight gain. I'm going to wait a while before I go back, but still try to eat better on my own. I promise.

Frustration

I have only lost one pound in the past few weeks. It is a source of endless frustration for me. I follow the diet plan about 95% and still not much movement on the scale. I am trying a day of just protein to see if that gets the scale moving. I want to lose at least another 10 pounds before I go to Europe.

Happy New Year...Again

I start 2011 at exactly the same weight as January 2010. I am not unhappy about that as it I am usually heavier than the previous year. I am, however, disappointed at my rate of loss. I have been struggling at the clinic and have only lost a few pounds. I am hoping the new year brings new resolve. I have lost 5 pounds so far this week. That's a lot so I know it is largely glycogen and water depletion. I am also once again trying to kick my diet Coke habit. I am down to one a day. I am going to the U.S. soon and the diet Coke there tastes different, and not in a good way. It will be easy for me to give it up there and hopefully, I will stay away from it back home.

Onward and downward and all the best in 2011.

Back to Clean Eating

As of Monday I was back to the Clinic for round two of my weight loss journey. I had considered waiting until after Christmas but a few pounds had snuck back on and I seemed unable to control my impulse to cram as much chocolate as humanly possible into my mouth! I was nervous as I thought there would be judgements but everyone was nice. But then why wouldn't they be nice when I am paying them a ton of money!

Within a day of being back on strict, I felt better. In two days, any bloating I had was gone. By day three, the hunger and cravings were gone. I am once again eating only that necessary to sustain me. If all goes well, it will take about 3 or 4 months to get me close to goal. And then I think I will go on their maintenance program for at least a year. As accountability seems to be what I need to keep me on track, I may have to go on maintenance for more than a year, maybe for the rest of my life!

The Diet Diary

I am making a new diet diary. I find this a very helpful tool for weight loss. Because I want it with me all the time, I am opting for a small Moleskines notebook with the graph paper pages. I like the squares because I can make charts and easily make sections on each page. I can record my weight and how I'm feeling, foods consumed, track water and vitamin consumption. It is fun to set it up. I glue in pictures of thinner me and I decorate it with stickers and motivating thoughts. I use pretty coloured pens. All of this is to help me stay on course.

Recording these things requires honesty so if I eat, say, some chocolate, I can't ignore it because if the scale hasn't moved, that is likely why. So I resolve to be honest in my new diary. I have attached a sample page of what the pages will look like.

Food Of Shame

We have all had it and we have all bought it. I can be rolling along nicely. I will eat my oatmeal for brekkie and have an apple, I’ll eat my half pound of veg, lean protein and fruit at lunch. I’ll have a good healthy dinner and I’ll drink my ocean of water every day and then all of the sudden, I find myself buying chocolate or I’ll be on a kitchen rampage to make something I shouldn’t have and that I know will make me sick and fat! It is like I go on autopilot.

I call this food, the food of shame. I am an intelligent woman, but I find this food defeats me. I will buy it and eat it even though I know what it does to me. I eat it without thought. Sometimes I cram it in fast and I don’t even enjoy it and then, of course, I feel guilty and full of self loathing. Food of Shame.

One Year

It has been one year since I started the Dr B diet. I have lost about 26% of my body weight. I have a long way to go. i have been on maintenance for the past few months and have not been entirely good so I will need to buckle down. I am afraid I have lost my resolve and want to get it back.
My sisters are going away for three weeks. I'm going to miss them.

Stalled

I'm not losing but then I'm not gaining either so I am ok with that. It has been nice to relax for a while and not think about everything that is going into my mouth.

I did ok in Europe although I found it was difficult to find restaurant meals with plenty of vegetables. I ate chocolate in Belgium and some ice cream in Paris.

I had a setback as I fell in Paris and tore an ankle ligament. This cuts down on the amount of walking I can do. I am healing ok and hope I will be back to walking soon.

Summer is my favourite time to lose weight. There are lots of good fresh fruits and veg. Also when it's hot, my appetite is not as good.

Bad Habits

I seem to have slipped back into some bad habits. I am eating way too much chocolate even though I feel awful after. I am spinning my wheels only losing about 7 pounds in the past month. I know I should be happy with that but as this diet is so expensive, I am discouraged. I don`t want to take another break but I might have to. I am 65% to my goal. I want to be down a bit more before going to France and Belgium next month. I think that major upheavals at work are taking their toll on my well being. We have alot of uncertainty and will likely not get a raise or a decent bonus. I can live with that. I need to buckle down and get back to getting healthy.

Back to the Clinic Tomorrow

I'll be going back to the clinic tomorrow. I have managed to lose about six pounds on my own. It would have been more if I had been more strict but not bad for being on maintenance. So I saved a few hundred bucks. I'll try to be strict from now on until I lose another 20 to 30 pounds.

Back from Vacation

To be true to a diet is difficult, to be true while on vacation is really difficult. I wasn't 100% good but I was ok and still managed to lose 2 pounds while in DisneyWorld! I have a cold now and can't taste anything which of course makes me want to eat strong tasting things. Like sweet chili heat taco chips! Damn, I know now that this will be a life long struggle.

Another break

I am taking another break from the diet clinic. I have been averaging only 5 pounds a month and so that it is costing me over $100 a pound. I had one nurse tell me just to keep going but then another more senior nurse told me I should take February off. So that is what I am doing. I am going to stay with it on my own and see how I do. I think I can do it. I can't blame the clinic as the failure is most likely my own fault. I was having too much food. Not bad food just too much.

Okay!

I'm doing ok. I lost three pounds in the past week. I just ordered a whole bunch of new diet foods. Some of the bars look really good so I have to be careful. I will give them to my husband to hold for me and ask him to dole them out one at a time. I also got some high protein soups and oatmeal.

I may go on maintenance before I get to goal. I will still be accountable to the clinic because I'll see them once a week. I can continue to lose at the slower rate that my body seems to favour, I can see what foods I can look forward to on maintenance.

Happy New Year!

I fell off the wagon a bit over Christmas and New Year. I didn't gain any weight but I didn't lose either. I am about half way to my goal. As I was losing so slow and was bound to be eating off plan, I am taking a short break from the clinic. It is too expensive to be paying so much money a week if I am self sabotaging. I am back on track now and will return to the clinic on Monday. I should be down a pound or two by then. Then I am going to see how it goes for three weeks before I go to Orlando on vacation. If I am not back to losing at the optimum, then I am going to take three weeks off and return March 1. I know that if I am presented with bad food and no one is around, I will probably eat it. I do much better when I have a minder. When I am on vacation, I will be with my sister and cousins, the cousins eat anything and everything, but my sister is on a self imposed vegan diet which will make finding food difficult. Maybe too difficult, but in any case, I will have her keep me honest.