9 to 5

I've spent the last 10 working days crammed in a very hot meeting room with 8 strangers.  And loving it!  I've been training for my new job.  It's similar to the last one in that I'll be investigating possible financial shenanigans, but with a somewhat different focus.

I have found myself on the much despised subway with a smile on my face.  Going home is another matter because during training, I had to work 9 to 5 and the subway is so crowded around 5 that it is most unpleasant.  As I get to work early regardless of my starting time, the morning trip is pretty good.  This coming week, I will have switched to my regular hours of 8 to 4 so the subway will be a bit less crowded.

I'm looking forward to this continuation of my career.  The company is smaller and inclusive.  Lots of women and different cultures.  No offices, everyone including the boss are in cubes!  My adventure continues.

Not So Retired After All...

It appears I'm going back to work...at least for a year.  They came to me which feels kinda good.  Although I was ready to accept retirement, I would have preferred to work until I was ready to leave rather than being laid off.  This feels like redemption to me and I'm happy. Plus it means we can hold off on plans to move away from the city or to a condo.

I have been sitting on this possibility for 7 loooong weeks so I'm glad it's settled and I know what I'm doing, at least for the next year.  If it only lasts a year, that's ok, if it is longer, that's ok too.  

I have been packing in the travel for the past while in case I got the job as there would not be as much opportunity after I start.  My sister and I drove down to DisneyWorld and back which was an adventure in itself.  It was a bit tiring and it is unlikely we will do that again.  Then I went to meet a friend in Chicago which was great fun.  Then I went to Disney again with the husband, also great fun. 

I'm ready to go back to work.  I missed being downtown even though I didn't miss riding the subway.

The mayor...why won't he go away?

I'm going to keep this generic but most people will know what I'm talking about...

The mayor of my city...This is not someone I voted for and although I was stunned when he won the election, I always say that because of my own economic situation, it doesn't matter who is elected as me and mine will be ok.  

I am more than simply a taxpayer of my city, province and country.  I am a citizen.  I realise that if I want good roads, decent schools for children, civic infra-stucture, safe neighbourhoods, public transit, healthcare, pensions etc., I have to pay taxes.  These things are not free. I believe in helping out those less fortunate.  This is what separates the citizens from the taxpayers.   

That being said, I now I want this mayor to go away and get some help, for himself and for his wife and children.  He is not up to the job.  He has never been up to the job.  I'm going to go so far as to say that the job is beyond his capabilities.  He can't handle it without at least alcohol and possibly more.  I have read the police report  (400+ pages) and I don't believe the people, who have cooperated with the cops, are all lying when giving similar accounts of incidents described therein.  So, somebody else is lying.  

While we are at it, I would like his brother to go away too.  If he loves his mayor brother - and given his actions I don't think he does - he would get him into rehab.  If his mother loves her mayor son, she would urge him into rehab.  The goal with this family seems to be greater political aspiration for the brother.  God help us all.

Inertia Again

I am suffering from inertia again.  I can't seem to get much done.  I have a nephew who decided he was going to be a hotdog for Hallowe'en.  I have the fabric and the concept in my head for this costume, but it is not getting done.  I should clarify.  I'm not doing nothing as I've been very busy with family and household chores but not much in the creative department.  I think after Canadian Thanksgiving, things will settle down.  

We are reorganising the house a bit.  Cleaning out stuff and tidying up.  80% of the accumulated stuff is mine which I freely admit.  I have to let some of it go.  I went crazy on eBay a few years ago.  I bought stuff like there was no tomorrow.  Now I will probably end up selling some of it back on eBay again!  Full circle.  

I am loving the weather in Toronto right now.  Cool and crisp in the morning which is when I like to walk.  I found a new route with what I will call a "killer hill" about halfway.  It's not really all that steep but it is long and gradual.  It's like having the Walkfit (which of course I want) without having to pay for it, and I'm getting fresh air.

The Selfie and the Selfie Haircut

I had no idea what a "selfie" was until the cringe-worthy one by a certain moustachioed guy was plastered on the internet.  It turns out, I've been taking lots of them which I sometimes post on here.  

One of my latest projects - and my sisters advise me that it is not a good idea - is the do-it-myself haircut.  I have a short pixie that is well-behaved.  I slap some hair goo in, rub it around and I'm ready for public inspection.  I haven't used a hairbrush or comb since 1999!  It was getting longer than I liked but I didn't feel like going downtown so I started snipping off bits that were sticking out here and there.  I used proper haircutting scissors that I bought years ago and I think I did ok!  So here are some "selfies" of my haircut.

Retirement Clothing

I used to think when I retired that I would wear only clothing from Coldwater Creek while I filled my days supporting the arts, or lunching with the ladies.  Of course the reality is far different.  Mostly, its been Land's End.

I was discussing the concept of retirement wear with my sister and we thought a good retirement item would be some sort of vest or smock.   A funky garment that would have lots of big pockets to hold all the stuff you could possibly need.  I decided I would try to construct this garment.  A "utility" vest of sorts.  My first attempt was a disaster.  Ugly beyond comprehension and only good for the joke factor.  I will have to reconstruct it into a shopping bag or something.

I'm looking forward to casual wear.  A couple of weeks ago, I had to venture downtown in a business suit and it was 33 degrees.  I'm not going to miss that.  

I'm not going to be hanging out in stretchy pants the rest of my days, I'll stay presentable.  A happy medium between Coldwater Creek and Land's End with a the Utility Vest to pull it all together.  

Hobbies and Second Careers

I'm  a crafter.  I almost always have some sort of project on the go.  Lately, I've been making dolls and have sold one.  A custom doll.  I've decided the pressure was too great for any more custom dolls as it took me three attempts to get the doll just right.  Paying myself minimum wage, this doll was worth $500.00 but needless to say, I didn't get anywhere near that.

Crafting is a thankless task.  I've gone to church sales and seen beautiful hand-knit socks for $10 a pair.  That's robbery.  I have participated in Craft shows and sales and had people come up to my work (in this case intricate scarves) and scoff at a $30 price tag, which barely paid for the yarn.  They would walk away and say, "I could get my grandmother to make it for free!"  I'd like to know where these generous grannies with nothing but time to make items for demanding grandchildren are hiding.  I know mine would have said, "Make it yourself."

I'm thinking that although most of my items are made at a loss, if I pay myself minimum wage, I can still sell these dolls.  I enjoy making them and if I can recoup my costs while I'm keeping myself creative and occupied, why not?  Once I have enough dolls completed and clothed, I'll probably post them for sale on Etsy.

One of my good friends who is retired from a commercial and fine art career, has recently posted his photography which is stunning.  http://www.redbubble.com/people/bgbcreative/portfolio

Retired

Retired.  There I said it.  I’m retired.  This is a life-phase that I had not expected for about 5 or 6 more years.  After a long and well-respected career in capital market regulation, I was downsized in a re-organization.  Downsized and devastated.  Over the next year, I found that I was too old (55!) and expensive to be hired in my chosen field.  Depression ensued. Despite encouragement from my family and good chums (who are retired) that this was a rare opportunity, I felt like I had somehow failed.  Financially it is viable for me to be retired, but it took a long time for me to accept it.

Which brings me to my closet.  My closet was stuffed with the 46 pairs of shoes, previously mentioned, and lots of business wear.  So stuffed that I could not fit in anything else.  So everything that I wear with regularity was on the floor, dresser, and the strewn over the 4 boxes of office stuff that was also in there.  And as almost everything that I wear is black, it made hunting for specific clothing very frustrating.  The state of my closet suggested I was either optimistic at the prospect of finding a new job or I was depressed and unable to clear the stuff out.  I think it was a combination of both.  

I cleaned out the closet.  I kept two suits and a few things that I thought I might wear again and dispersed the rest hither and yon.  I can now see the back wall of the closet and clothes are hung up instead of on the floor. Yay.

So...I’m sorta kinda ready to accept that I am retired.  At least for now.  I won’t rule out another corporate opportunity if it comes along - although the thought of going downtown daily on the subway again gives me the shivers.  Instead, I’ll concentrate on this next phase of my journey.  I will try to write, make dolls and other crafty things and see how that goes.  It is good that I have this opportunity while I’m still relatively young enough to enjoy it.  I haven’t yet thrown my arms out and embraced it.  But I will, eventually.

Shoes

I've been slowly but surely tidying up our small bedroom.  For the past few years it has been my crap receptacle but for the past 18 months it has been in an unacceptable state.  Not a room I wanted to go in but as it contains my clothes and my escape bed, I couldn't always avoid it.  I'm at the closet cleaning stage as it occurred to me the clothes in the closet were not the clothes being worn (I'll address the reason why in another post).  I was taking out my shoes and it started to get funny then it got ridiculous.  There are 46 pairs in the picture and that is just what was in that closet.  It doesn't include the ones I'm wearing, my wedding shoes, a pair of Mickey Mouse sneakers, some killer green suede pumps and all my winter wear.  The total of my footwear is probably around 57 pairs.   Of these shoes, I could probably immediately cull out only about 5 pairs.  I need to be ruthless and ask myself: how often I wear them;  are they comfortable; are they out of style; do they still fit me; and, do I need them?  It's a challenge.  

I want to get this room in better order so that it is welcoming to me as I'd like to put a writing surface in there.  I'm typing this on a TV table in the living room, not the most comfortable or quiet spot.  

We're Having A Heat Wave...

I hate the heat.  I really do.  That is one of the reasons we chose Newfoundland as a travel destination. I used to go to Alberta in the summer where it was also cool in the mountains or near Edmonton.  I should start doing that again.

With the humidity, it is supposed to feel like 45C today.  That is like 120F.  No thanks.  It's cooler in California!  I have suggested to my Dad that he stay inside but who knows.  I was outside briefly yesterday at 5:00 a.m. for a dash to the 24 hour store for milk and contact lens solution for my spouse, (I swear he waits until there is nothing but vapour inside the bottle before getting refills.) and that was unpleasant.  I haven't been outside today and don't plan on it unless there is an emergency.  We are down to meagre rations so I will have to head out for supplies tomorrow but it will be the 24 hour store and before the sun is up!   We should be get relief by the weekend but I think the weather people are incapable of an accurate forecast.  Enough whining...

I'm keeping busy with doll-making.  I tried to make one that looks like a baby but the legs look too froggy.  I would take it apart as the head is rather nice, but after I make them, they become little personalities to me and I can't do it.  Here he is...no hair yet..or clothes.  

Iceberg!

Here is an iceberg that floated into a little bay in St. Anthony, Newfoundland.  A short walk from our B & B.  My husband & I just returned from a holiday there.  It's lovely.  Wild and desolate in places.  Pretty and quaint in others.   It was also nice and cool which I love.

The vacation was difficult to enjoy though because, like the iceberg which only shows about a 1/3 above water, my Dad kept his health from me and my siblings, until my plane had departed as he didn't want to "spoil my trip."  He had pneumonia and then partial kidney failure from being dehydrated and had to be hospitalised for almost a week!  All so I could have a vacation.  Very selfless of him but I would always choose a live father over any vacation.  Geeze.  He has been told this in no uncertain terms.  I am now staying with him for a week or two until he is back to his independent self.  Geeze again!

Dolls and Nostalgia

I've been keeping busy with more Waldorf-type dolls.  I have now made four and I think maybe one of them (red-headed girl below) is crafted well enough for full price.  It's definitely a learning process.  I just have to construct clothing and little shoes and I'll try them out on Etsy.

Taking a page from my friend Shelley, I have been clearing out some stuff.  Yesterday I filled 5 green garbage bags with clothes for Goodwill and I still haven't touched my main closet.  There are shoes to be donated that I haven't seen or worn in years.   I think I still have my Grade 8 graduation dress somewhere...

I get attached to clothes and not just mine.  I have lots of my Mum's that I don't wear but are so imbued with her that I can't part with them.  I put my hand in her pockets and come out with a safety pin or a wadded tissue, I smell her scarves for a hint of Covergirl foundation and it takes me to her.   

I often re-purpose fabric and clothing.  I was doing it long before there were whole magazines and websites devoted to it.  I like to incorporate bits of favourites in family gifts.  If I turn up that grad dress in my clearing frenzy, I'm going to cut the skirt off (it was a peasant dress circa 1970) and make it into a handbag!

Waldorf Prototype

  This is Mandy, my first attempt at a "Waldorf" doll.  I think I did ok.  Waldorfs are supposed to be made with all natural materials thus there is a "pedagogy" which must be followed.  It means the doll has to be stuffed with sheep's wool.  Meh.  I managed to follow the instructions without using sheep's wool.  Thus, this is a vegan Waldorf or Vegal-dorf! (trademark!)  It went together pretty well as instructed with no troubles.   Connoisseurs claim any other stuffing will not feel right...that the head will not be hard enough...blah, blah and blah.  This was my prototype so I'll be keeping her.  I followed instructions from a book but they were a little weak and sometimes downright dopey so I have devised ways of making the doll go together easier without effecting the overall Waldorf-ness (other than the non-sheep stuffing).  If the next one is nice enough, I'll try to sell her or him.

Oh, and the diet is going ok too!

Hello Again

I've been away from the blog awhile. The final course assignments took up a chunk of time.  I did well with my final mark being either 85 or 89.5% based on my calculations.  I'm still deciding if I will take the next one in the series.  It will involve night courses and downtown but as I'm an early (like 4 a.m. early) morning person, it may be unpleasant.

The diet has been going better and so has the walking.  I'm getting back to it and the weather has finally started to cooperate by being above freezing for more than a few hours at a time.  I'm trying something new (old concept, new application) and if it works, I'll write about it.  Nothing foolish.  In fact it is basic, sound and makes sense.  I've always said I have the knowledge for good nutrition and wellness but the application escapes me!   I'll give you a hint...it involves proper food!

The Gold Bunny

I love the gold bunny with the red ribbon and bell.  You know the one I'm talking about.  They start appearing in February and as Easter approaches, I buy a small one for me and my husband and a big one for my Dad.

I spoil my Dad at Easter (and all the rest of the time!) because he loves chocolate and he has always been the one who takes care of everyone else.  His family didn't have much money growing up but my Papa always made sure each of his children had an Easter treat.   My Dad loves to tell the story of how he would break out the bottoms of his younger sibling's Easter bunnies and hens, with the hope they wouldn't notice, in order to get more chocolate.  He laughs about it now (and his sisters spoil him too)...so he gets a big bunny.  

When I buy Easter chocolate, I give it to my husband for safe keeping.  It's a game we play.  I know where he hides it so if I really want to eat it pre-Easter, I can find it but for the most part, it's out of sight... (not out of mind) which helps...

Less Chips, More Fruits and Veg

A lifetime of bad eating has left my husband with kidney disease.  Not all of it is his fault as genetics predisposing him to high-blood pressure did not help, but neither did his usual lunch of chips and Pepsi.  

We have always had a hands-off approach with each other when it came to indulgences.  I'm independent and I get my back up when I see people criticising their partner's eating choices.  Unless you're Mary Poppins and practically perfect in every way, I say live and let live.  I shop healthy and there is always a good variety of fruits/veg, lean protein etc, available for meals.  The problem is when we are on our own.  He likes his chips, I like chocolate.

Now he's had a wake up call.  If he doesn't halt the progression with lifestyle changes, he will be a candidate for dialysis.  

The problem with kidney disease diets is there is a lot of leeway between what you can and can't have.  I don't know about you but I do better when I have a specific plan to follow.  What we have gleaned is that he should cut salt, potassium and phosphates.  Eat lean protein but not too much.  More fruits and vegetables.  Cut back on bran and whole wheat products--which I thought was weird. Drink adequate beverages (water!), cut back on alcohol, nuts, cheese, fruit juices and dark sodas.  

So after so many years of the hands-off approach, I have to be more proactive.  I know he's an adult and capable of his own choices but I kinda want him to stick around.  Who knows? It will probably help me too.  

Paddy Appleseed

This is my husband eating a slice of apple.  The reason there is a picture of it on my blog is that this has never happened before in the 24 years that I have known this man.  Oh, he has eaten apples in my presence before... when I cut them up and present them to him in easily biteable bits!  What is odd is that he decided to eat one on his own!  I know this picture makes him look goofy but I was so surprised by the apple, I asked him to strike a pose for posterity.  

He normally doesn't eat fruit and doesn't eat many vegetables.  His snack of choice is usually chips of some kind and a soda.  Ah the paradox!  He is effortlessly a normal weight and me - who eats lots of fruits and veg (ok chocolate too) - overweight.  Go figure.  

This brings me to my course assignment  in which I had to construct a genogram of three generations of my family starting with my grandparents in order to track potential health problems and trends.  The exercise helped me identify health issues which are hereditary as well as those which I may be able to avoid or at least mitigate with better health choices.  

Now back to the apple... I think I know the reason my husband chose the apple.  He had an iffy medical test this week and will probably be told by the professionals that he needs to improve his diet.  I can only control what he eats for dinner and shop so that there are healthy alternatives for breakfast and lunch.  I can't cram them down his throat.  Apples are a good start and I'm glad he ate one.

Motivation in Unexpected Form

I just watched a video featuring a young boy who calls himself "Kid President."  Here is a link to it.  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=l-gQLqv9f4o

I have to say it is one of the best motivational videos I have seen in a long time.  It really made me want to get up and get going so kudos to you Kid President!

Not much else going on.  My course seems to eat up my free time which is ok.  It's a good distraction and beats being bored.

(The gnomes represent some of the bits of whimsy I keep around the house.  I like little things that make me smile and that are in unexpected places) 

Yikes!

I'm taking an on-line course on Health and Wellness at a local college and it is really taking a bite out of my daily routine.  I graduated university in 1980 and had forgotten how much time it takes to read course material and do homework.  I'm not sure I like it.  I can't imagine being at school full time if one course is taking up about 20 hours of weekly daylight!  My textbook cost $141.  I would expect a Gutenberg Bible for that amount of dough but no. It's about the size of a coffee-table book but paperback which means its unwieldy and can only be read sitting at a table or desk.

I'm pretty sure I'm the oldest person in the class going by the introductions and comments.  It is interesting and I'm learning and confirming knowledge about health.  If I continue with this study, I will get a certificate in Nutrition Management.     

I've been doing ok diet-wise.  I need to get out more and walk but it's about -20 here for the last few days.  I'm hibernating.

Contemplation

Oh my, I have not been very good in the healthy food department.  I have not had any candy though since January 1st and have resisted it's siren call.  Yesterday I was out for a walk with my husband and I said, "I feel like some chocolate." He said. "No you don't." And we just kept walking.  That was good.  I didn't feel inclined to argue.  I was ok without it.  Note that my husband is not a domineering sort and has never said anything about my weight.  I told him some time ago not to get me any candy, even if I ask. 

I've had a lot of time on my hands lately.  When I'm not reading, crafting or watching TV, I contemplate and think about my life and what I want to do with it.  I know I have an opportunity to try something else.  But sometimes I don't think I have the courage... which is why I'm still looking for a full time job in my area of expertise.  

I'm a procrastinator at the champion level.  I have some writing projects that I could be working on, fabric all cut out for projects, crochet dolls half made and books at various stages of being read.   I've also just registered for a college course on nutrition and health.  Despite being over-weight, I know a lot about nutrition.  It's the application that eludes me.  Maybe the educational approach will help!

Not so bad...

Ok, I weighed myself, not as bad as I thought it would be.  But still not great.  I gained back 20 pounds last year.  I thought it would be a lot more.  It certainly feels like a lot more.  I need to get rid of that 20 to get back to where I was and then continue to get healthy from there.  

What got me here?  Depression, which lead to inertia.  A circle that needs to be broken.

I'm eating better this week.  I haven't had any candy or baked goods.  I already feel less splodgy.  So that's good and I feel optimistic.

I'm applying for another job today.  It's always causes me anxiety as my fear of rejection is so keen.  And let's face it, my fear this past 9 months has been justified.  I'm lucky though that my financial situation is not desperate.  I could retire if I wanted, but I'm not ready yet.  I liked being out in the world.  I liked being downtown.  Three of my old school chums are now retired and believe me, it's tempting.  The difference is that they chose their retirement time whereas I had mine thrust upon me.  

I'm a good fit for this job.  I have the experience and the knowledge and I'm willing to take a pay cut!  Keep your fingers crossed for me.

2013...It has to be better than 2012!

Happy New Year...although I start this year with sadness.  I mourn the loss of my step niece Cori and feel the pain that my brother and my niece Samantha will be going through as they work through the loss of daughter and sister.  

I'm glad that 2012 is over.  It was not a good year for me.  I'm hopeful that 2013 will be better but I know that I have to make that happen rather than just hope for the best.  I need to get back to health by eating better and moving more, which brings me to this blog and why I started it.  For the next few days, I'm sort of detoxing.  I haven't weighed myself in a while as I'm afraid of what the scale will show.  I'll do it tomorrow as I need a place from which to move forward.  

So... here's to 2013.