Back to Clean Eating

As of Monday I was back to the Clinic for round two of my weight loss journey. I had considered waiting until after Christmas but a few pounds had snuck back on and I seemed unable to control my impulse to cram as much chocolate as humanly possible into my mouth! I was nervous as I thought there would be judgements but everyone was nice. But then why wouldn't they be nice when I am paying them a ton of money!

Within a day of being back on strict, I felt better. In two days, any bloating I had was gone. By day three, the hunger and cravings were gone. I am once again eating only that necessary to sustain me. If all goes well, it will take about 3 or 4 months to get me close to goal. And then I think I will go on their maintenance program for at least a year. As accountability seems to be what I need to keep me on track, I may have to go on maintenance for more than a year, maybe for the rest of my life!

The Diet Diary

I am making a new diet diary. I find this a very helpful tool for weight loss. Because I want it with me all the time, I am opting for a small Moleskines notebook with the graph paper pages. I like the squares because I can make charts and easily make sections on each page. I can record my weight and how I'm feeling, foods consumed, track water and vitamin consumption. It is fun to set it up. I glue in pictures of thinner me and I decorate it with stickers and motivating thoughts. I use pretty coloured pens. All of this is to help me stay on course.

Recording these things requires honesty so if I eat, say, some chocolate, I can't ignore it because if the scale hasn't moved, that is likely why. So I resolve to be honest in my new diary. I have attached a sample page of what the pages will look like.

Food Of Shame

We have all had it and we have all bought it. I can be rolling along nicely. I will eat my oatmeal for brekkie and have an apple, I’ll eat my half pound of veg, lean protein and fruit at lunch. I’ll have a good healthy dinner and I’ll drink my ocean of water every day and then all of the sudden, I find myself buying chocolate or I’ll be on a kitchen rampage to make something I shouldn’t have and that I know will make me sick and fat! It is like I go on autopilot.

I call this food, the food of shame. I am an intelligent woman, but I find this food defeats me. I will buy it and eat it even though I know what it does to me. I eat it without thought. Sometimes I cram it in fast and I don’t even enjoy it and then, of course, I feel guilty and full of self loathing. Food of Shame.

One Year

It has been one year since I started the Dr B diet. I have lost about 26% of my body weight. I have a long way to go. i have been on maintenance for the past few months and have not been entirely good so I will need to buckle down. I am afraid I have lost my resolve and want to get it back.
My sisters are going away for three weeks. I'm going to miss them.

Stalled

I'm not losing but then I'm not gaining either so I am ok with that. It has been nice to relax for a while and not think about everything that is going into my mouth.

I did ok in Europe although I found it was difficult to find restaurant meals with plenty of vegetables. I ate chocolate in Belgium and some ice cream in Paris.

I had a setback as I fell in Paris and tore an ankle ligament. This cuts down on the amount of walking I can do. I am healing ok and hope I will be back to walking soon.

Summer is my favourite time to lose weight. There are lots of good fresh fruits and veg. Also when it's hot, my appetite is not as good.

Another Break

In all of April I lost only 4 pounds. Better than gaining I know, but that means it was over $100.00 per pound and that is just crazy. Part of it was my fault but part is that I know I lose weight slowly and my body has a plateau at the weight I am now. There is a new nurse at the clinic who gave me the excuse I needed to take another break. I test my urine at home before I go so that I know I am burning ketones. Despite having a positive sample at home, when this same nurse takes a reading she says its negative and takes away my fruits for two days! That means I am getting just over 700 calories and that makes me feel cranky and weak. I argue with her and she will say, "okay it is a bare trace" which is good enough. The last time she did this, I had lost a whole pound between visits and she still said no fruits! So I decided I was taking a break. I want to lose a bit on my own and then I will go back to finish up and go on maintenance. So for the next little while I will enjoy getting up on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays and be able to have a glass of water, not have to weigh various items of clothing looking for the ones that weigh the least, not worry about whether or not my urine sample will test dark enough for the nasty nurse and I will sleep better because I won't be obsessed with weighing less in the morning. I am going to continue with the diet and test my urine at home so I will know if I am eating too much.

The past week I have had almost no appetite which is a good thing except if I forget to eat and I am out for a walk, I can start feeling a bit weak. I have lost my craving for chocolate which is wonderful but I imagine it will return when I get to Belgium and Paris!

I made some baked potato microwave cloth bags for a craft sale and then I had to try one to see if it worked and it did but I also ate the potato! Although I enjoyed it the carbs made me feel splodgy.

Bad Habits

I seem to have slipped back into some bad habits. I am eating way too much chocolate even though I feel awful after. I am spinning my wheels only losing about 7 pounds in the past month. I know I should be happy with that but as this diet is so expensive, I am discouraged. I don`t want to take another break but I might have to. I am 65% to my goal. I want to be down a bit more before going to France and Belgium next month. I think that major upheavals at work are taking their toll on my well being. We have alot of uncertainty and will likely not get a raise or a decent bonus. I can live with that. I need to buckle down and get back to getting healthy.

Back to the Clinic Tomorrow

I'll be going back to the clinic tomorrow. I have managed to lose about six pounds on my own. It would have been more if I had been more strict but not bad for being on maintenance. So I saved a few hundred bucks. I'll try to be strict from now on until I lose another 20 to 30 pounds.

Back from Vacation

To be true to a diet is difficult, to be true while on vacation is really difficult. I wasn't 100% good but I was ok and still managed to lose 2 pounds while in DisneyWorld! I have a cold now and can't taste anything which of course makes me want to eat strong tasting things. Like sweet chili heat taco chips! Damn, I know now that this will be a life long struggle.

Another break

I am taking another break from the diet clinic. I have been averaging only 5 pounds a month and so that it is costing me over $100 a pound. I had one nurse tell me just to keep going but then another more senior nurse told me I should take February off. So that is what I am doing. I am going to stay with it on my own and see how I do. I think I can do it. I can't blame the clinic as the failure is most likely my own fault. I was having too much food. Not bad food just too much.

Okay!

I'm doing ok. I lost three pounds in the past week. I just ordered a whole bunch of new diet foods. Some of the bars look really good so I have to be careful. I will give them to my husband to hold for me and ask him to dole them out one at a time. I also got some high protein soups and oatmeal.

I may go on maintenance before I get to goal. I will still be accountable to the clinic because I'll see them once a week. I can continue to lose at the slower rate that my body seems to favour, I can see what foods I can look forward to on maintenance.

Happy New Year!

I fell off the wagon a bit over Christmas and New Year. I didn't gain any weight but I didn't lose either. I am about half way to my goal. As I was losing so slow and was bound to be eating off plan, I am taking a short break from the clinic. It is too expensive to be paying so much money a week if I am self sabotaging. I am back on track now and will return to the clinic on Monday. I should be down a pound or two by then. Then I am going to see how it goes for three weeks before I go to Orlando on vacation. If I am not back to losing at the optimum, then I am going to take three weeks off and return March 1. I know that if I am presented with bad food and no one is around, I will probably eat it. I do much better when I have a minder. When I am on vacation, I will be with my sister and cousins, the cousins eat anything and everything, but my sister is on a self imposed vegan diet which will make finding food difficult. Maybe too difficult, but in any case, I will have her keep me honest.