My day started off bad and then got worse. We had some messy weather, snow and then ice pellets and freezing rain. When I got across the street from my bus stop, I could see a bus coming. I have a rule where I do not run for buses. They run every seven minutes and the last time I ran for one in the winter, I had a spectacular wipe out and broke my ankle. So running is not worth it. It went by and I saw another one coming but this guy was about 3 minutes early. I couldn't cross the road because there was a car coming (the only car in about an hour!) and the road was slippery. I held up my hand hoping the bus driver would stop but no, he decided to be a bit of a dick! In giving this guy a salute, I lifted my heavy bag of stuff really fast and pulled muscles in my neck and shoulder. All of this, combined with the fact that I had not lost any more weight, left me craving foods I should not have. I succumbed and bought some chocolate and after a few pieces, gave the rest away to my colleagues. At least I demonstrated some control. I further saved myself by having some nice fish for dinner.
I read a published diary some years ago written by a woman who was documenting her struggle with dieting. There were daily entries, much like a blog although this was before blogs were around. It was frustrating. I kept waiting for her to stop sabotaging herself. She would be ok for awhile and then fail miserably. Now I recognize some of her behaviour in myself and it doubly makes me want to strengthen my resolve. I don't want to be filled with the same feelings of failure and self loathing. I will try again today.
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