Retired

Retired.  There I said it.  I’m retired.  This is a life-phase that I had not expected for about 5 or 6 more years.  After a long and well-respected career in capital market regulation, I was downsized in a re-organization.  Downsized and devastated.  Over the next year, I found that I was too old (55!) and expensive to be hired in my chosen field.  Depression ensued. Despite encouragement from my family and good chums (who are retired) that this was a rare opportunity, I felt like I had somehow failed.  Financially it is viable for me to be retired, but it took a long time for me to accept it.

Which brings me to my closet.  My closet was stuffed with the 46 pairs of shoes, previously mentioned, and lots of business wear.  So stuffed that I could not fit in anything else.  So everything that I wear with regularity was on the floor, dresser, and the strewn over the 4 boxes of office stuff that was also in there.  And as almost everything that I wear is black, it made hunting for specific clothing very frustrating.  The state of my closet suggested I was either optimistic at the prospect of finding a new job or I was depressed and unable to clear the stuff out.  I think it was a combination of both.  

I cleaned out the closet.  I kept two suits and a few things that I thought I might wear again and dispersed the rest hither and yon.  I can now see the back wall of the closet and clothes are hung up instead of on the floor. Yay.

So...I’m sorta kinda ready to accept that I am retired.  At least for now.  I won’t rule out another corporate opportunity if it comes along - although the thought of going downtown daily on the subway again gives me the shivers.  Instead, I’ll concentrate on this next phase of my journey.  I will try to write, make dolls and other crafty things and see how that goes.  It is good that I have this opportunity while I’m still relatively young enough to enjoy it.  I haven’t yet thrown my arms out and embraced it.  But I will, eventually.

Shoes

I've been slowly but surely tidying up our small bedroom.  For the past few years it has been my crap receptacle but for the past 18 months it has been in an unacceptable state.  Not a room I wanted to go in but as it contains my clothes and my escape bed, I couldn't always avoid it.  I'm at the closet cleaning stage as it occurred to me the clothes in the closet were not the clothes being worn (I'll address the reason why in another post).  I was taking out my shoes and it started to get funny then it got ridiculous.  There are 46 pairs in the picture and that is just what was in that closet.  It doesn't include the ones I'm wearing, my wedding shoes, a pair of Mickey Mouse sneakers, some killer green suede pumps and all my winter wear.  The total of my footwear is probably around 57 pairs.   Of these shoes, I could probably immediately cull out only about 5 pairs.  I need to be ruthless and ask myself: how often I wear them;  are they comfortable; are they out of style; do they still fit me; and, do I need them?  It's a challenge.  

I want to get this room in better order so that it is welcoming to me as I'd like to put a writing surface in there.  I'm typing this on a TV table in the living room, not the most comfortable or quiet spot.  

We're Having A Heat Wave...

I hate the heat.  I really do.  That is one of the reasons we chose Newfoundland as a travel destination. I used to go to Alberta in the summer where it was also cool in the mountains or near Edmonton.  I should start doing that again.

With the humidity, it is supposed to feel like 45C today.  That is like 120F.  No thanks.  It's cooler in California!  I have suggested to my Dad that he stay inside but who knows.  I was outside briefly yesterday at 5:00 a.m. for a dash to the 24 hour store for milk and contact lens solution for my spouse, (I swear he waits until there is nothing but vapour inside the bottle before getting refills.) and that was unpleasant.  I haven't been outside today and don't plan on it unless there is an emergency.  We are down to meagre rations so I will have to head out for supplies tomorrow but it will be the 24 hour store and before the sun is up!   We should be get relief by the weekend but I think the weather people are incapable of an accurate forecast.  Enough whining...

I'm keeping busy with doll-making.  I tried to make one that looks like a baby but the legs look too froggy.  I would take it apart as the head is rather nice, but after I make them, they become little personalities to me and I can't do it.  Here he is...no hair yet..or clothes.  

Iceberg!

Here is an iceberg that floated into a little bay in St. Anthony, Newfoundland.  A short walk from our B & B.  My husband & I just returned from a holiday there.  It's lovely.  Wild and desolate in places.  Pretty and quaint in others.   It was also nice and cool which I love.

The vacation was difficult to enjoy though because, like the iceberg which only shows about a 1/3 above water, my Dad kept his health from me and my siblings, until my plane had departed as he didn't want to "spoil my trip."  He had pneumonia and then partial kidney failure from being dehydrated and had to be hospitalised for almost a week!  All so I could have a vacation.  Very selfless of him but I would always choose a live father over any vacation.  Geeze.  He has been told this in no uncertain terms.  I am now staying with him for a week or two until he is back to his independent self.  Geeze again!

Dolls and Nostalgia

I've been keeping busy with more Waldorf-type dolls.  I have now made four and I think maybe one of them (red-headed girl below) is crafted well enough for full price.  It's definitely a learning process.  I just have to construct clothing and little shoes and I'll try them out on Etsy.

Taking a page from my friend Shelley, I have been clearing out some stuff.  Yesterday I filled 5 green garbage bags with clothes for Goodwill and I still haven't touched my main closet.  There are shoes to be donated that I haven't seen or worn in years.   I think I still have my Grade 8 graduation dress somewhere...

I get attached to clothes and not just mine.  I have lots of my Mum's that I don't wear but are so imbued with her that I can't part with them.  I put my hand in her pockets and come out with a safety pin or a wadded tissue, I smell her scarves for a hint of Covergirl foundation and it takes me to her.   

I often re-purpose fabric and clothing.  I was doing it long before there were whole magazines and websites devoted to it.  I like to incorporate bits of favourites in family gifts.  If I turn up that grad dress in my clearing frenzy, I'm going to cut the skirt off (it was a peasant dress circa 1970) and make it into a handbag!

Waldorf Prototype

  This is Mandy, my first attempt at a "Waldorf" doll.  I think I did ok.  Waldorfs are supposed to be made with all natural materials thus there is a "pedagogy" which must be followed.  It means the doll has to be stuffed with sheep's wool.  Meh.  I managed to follow the instructions without using sheep's wool.  Thus, this is a vegan Waldorf or Vegal-dorf! (trademark!)  It went together pretty well as instructed with no troubles.   Connoisseurs claim any other stuffing will not feel right...that the head will not be hard enough...blah, blah and blah.  This was my prototype so I'll be keeping her.  I followed instructions from a book but they were a little weak and sometimes downright dopey so I have devised ways of making the doll go together easier without effecting the overall Waldorf-ness (other than the non-sheep stuffing).  If the next one is nice enough, I'll try to sell her or him.

Oh, and the diet is going ok too!

Hello Again

I've been away from the blog awhile. The final course assignments took up a chunk of time.  I did well with my final mark being either 85 or 89.5% based on my calculations.  I'm still deciding if I will take the next one in the series.  It will involve night courses and downtown but as I'm an early (like 4 a.m. early) morning person, it may be unpleasant.

The diet has been going better and so has the walking.  I'm getting back to it and the weather has finally started to cooperate by being above freezing for more than a few hours at a time.  I'm trying something new (old concept, new application) and if it works, I'll write about it.  Nothing foolish.  In fact it is basic, sound and makes sense.  I've always said I have the knowledge for good nutrition and wellness but the application escapes me!   I'll give you a hint...it involves proper food!