I am drawn to Calla Lilies because they were my Mum's favourite flower. As I was leaving the grocery store today (at 5:30 a.m.), I walked by a display of them. I found one with 6 lilies which was just perfect. There were two taller ones and four small ones which represents my nuclear family. (I took the photo on the left in a church garden in Paris.)I miss my Mum most of the time but especially at Christmas. And not just because she did 99% of the work which has now fallen to me and my sisters. She made it seem so effortless. All of the cookies and then the turkey, all the trimmings, the decorating, stocking filling and the present buying. Never a complaint or a hint that it was all too much.
It now takes at least three of us to recreate her efforts. I find that I dread Christmas eve and day because I know I will be exhausted by the time it's done and will have to deal the myriad personalities that make up our extended family. There are now 17 of us! Christmas Eve used to be a small casual dinner of tourtière, with my parents, my sister, my husband and me. After my Mum passed, the dinner grew so that we now have a full house and instead of one pie, I need to make 4! So that is the reason I need to take a deep breath. A deep calming breath. I want to enjoy the day rather than just get through it. I don't know if that's possible, but I'm going to try.
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